It's true. We wish it could be different, but it's an undeniable fact: people will fail you. Why does this happen? Why are those who are precious to us never always there for us? I think we need to start close to home and then move out.
The problem is not primarily external... No, the problem starts with us. We have to realize that we are our biggest communication and relational problem. It starts with the heart within. Your heart and mine fail us and, unfortunately fail others as well. What are we to do about this? Are we to complain and cry and be miserable? Are we to soak in a self-made sea of regret and pity? I want to offer a suggestion for all of us to consider.
If we want to be better friends to each other, we need to start with ourselves. We need to realize the internal struggle and conflict that is occurring daily in our hearts and lives:
"For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me."
Romans 7:15-20
We need change from above. We need renovation, not just reformation. We need the wonderful work of the Holy Spirit in our lives.
We can't trust people because we can't trust ourselves. If we are to be better people and, more so, better friends, we need the help of God. We have to admit that we are not self-sufficient. Neither are we autonomous creatures, but
dependent ones. We need God and we also need others. The two cannot be separated from our lives. God doesn't want us to be independent, autonomous people void of all human relationships. No, he wants us to live in loving community, praising him and enjoying him each and every day. Take heart friends, because with God, "all things are possible". If you are having relational conflict, take comfort that Jesus went through the very same conflict. He was despised and rejected by his friends and left to die alone. I honestly believe if we seek change, we
can find it. It's in a person. His name is Jesus.
"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
John 13: 34-35